Hypothetical Advice Needed
*Keep in mind that this is a hypothetical scenario and I have no plans to cheat on my husband. Love ya, Honey!
Let's say you have a boyfriend. He's cute and funny. A nice guy. It's not serious, yet. No commitment. No rings. No apartment hunts. No fluffy little dog that you call your 'baby'. But, it's fun. And mutually beneficial. Wink, wink.
But, then, along comes this other guy who asks you out. He's cuter. And smarter. And richer. A LOT richer. As in, 'Let's go away to my little cottage in Maine for the weekend' kind of rich. And he's classy. No jeans and T-shirts. He buys right from the pages of GQ.
So, you have Guy #1 (who is comfortable and fun to be around and you already have him partially house trained) and you have Guy #2 (who is sooooo tempting, but you don't really know that much about him, but that doesn't make him a bad choice by itself, right?). And, that's where the dilemma lies.
Because, what if Guy #1, for as fun as he is, is really just using you. Just a little. For fun. And that's been OK until now. But, what if you WANT that security. And commitment. And somebody to want you for longer than a fling. Is that really so much to ask?
And, here's Guy #2, offering that. But, what if you ditch #1 only to find out that #2 is a complete jackass. What if he's a nose picker? Or his family hates you? Or he likes to yell a lot?
But, you've already hurt #1, and he won't take you back. So, it's stay with #2, or be alone. All alone.
Any hypothetical advice?
posted by Tara at
3:59 AM
4 Comments:
Being alone isn't all that bad. So, it depends on how happy you are with #1. If you feel there's something missing, give #2 a try... and if neither work out, there'll always be others in the future.
If you have already hurt #1 and he won't take you back then you might want to take some time to decide if #2 is someone you really want. It sounds like you are looking for a commitment instead of jumping from one fling to another. If #2 is someone who wants to be there for the long haul then give him a shot (even if he is a nose picker). If not, then noricum is right, being alone isn't so bad.
Stay with #1. Your already comfortable with him and he may not be offering long term right now but what if he does a month down the road? #2 is offering comfort money wise and commitment now, but is there that comfort with him that you feel with #1? The comfort is there or not from pretty much day 1, and money and looks aren't everything from #2. Now if you stayed with #1 and just broke it off gently with #2 and #1 becomes a jerk after all you still might have a chance with #2 at a later date. BUT if you did break it off with #1 to be with #2 and he becomes a jerk, then both werent ment to be and there are plenty of fish in the sea! I did not mean for that to rhyme! :) Have a good day!
Who says you can't date them both (for now)? #1 seems interested in a more casual relationship, and #2 is new which makes him less than serious. As long as you talk to #1 first to determine where he stands as far as the current relationship (does he see it going anywhere, or is it just casual fun?). Eventually, you would have to make a concrete decision, but it would be an informed decision based on an active relationship with both guys...i hope that ramble made sense. :)
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