Thursday, July 26, 2007

I Gots the Stress. Want Some?

What? What's this bright light? It's blinding me. What? It's the sun? Really? Huh. I guess that's what happens when you live in a deep, dark hole for a few weeks. Or months. Whatever.
Yes, I'm here. No, I'm not fixed. But, I am better. Thanks to my doctor and a few little pills. Love those pills.
I went to the doctor and described the way I was feeling. You know. Sad, listless, unmotivated and tired all the time. Oh, and that pesky little problem with my heart racing really fast and making it feel like I was having a heart attack.
He looked and me and said " You're stressed."
Well duh. Who isn't stressed. I've been stressed since I was 13. So?
"No," he says " You're clinically stressed. Stressed out. Your body is fed up with you being stressed."
Huh. Go figure. It was a little bit shocking. I just thought I was depressed. Apparently I gots the stress, though. Which was great when I got home that night. Honey, I CAN'T do the dishes. I gots the stress. Children, don't make me angry. I gots the stress. You don't want mommy to have a heart problem, do you?
So, I got some little pills.
They kind of mess me up a little, too. I can live with that, though. It's just little things. Like having trouble sleeping. Which is being helped with another little pill. Or like not really having an appetite. Oh no. Heavens to Betsy. How awful that I no longer have a desire to eat myself to 500 pounds. It's a tragedy. I only want to eat what I need to stay alive and leave the chips and dip for someone else. Damn those side affects. They've made me lose 10 pounds.
Oddly enough, the lack of appetite does NOT work on ice cream. In fact, I had ice cream for dinner 2 nights in a row. Peanut butter ice cream. And rainbow sherbet for dessert. I'm a grown up, dammit. I can have ice cream for dinner if I want to.
And yes, my stomach protested later on. Will I do it again? Probably.
Besides, my kids are out of town. They went to visit my family for a month. So I don't have to set an example. Hah.
Yes, it's been a break with the 2 monsters gone. But, I am still working a lot. I'm pretty sure I like this job. It's tiring and stressful, but with my little pill buddies and AWESOME ice cream dinners, I can handle it.
Also, I just got my next royalty check yesterday. Since the book was released, it has so far sold over 2800 copies. Oh ya. I'm a superstar.
So that helps.
But, the biggest aid in my recent depression is the news that I got. It's GREAT news. EXCITING news. Something I have waited years and years to hear. Finally, everything has come full circle and I can rejoice.......


I am so excited I could pee myself. Corey Haim and Corey Feldman, reunited. Oh my frickin GAWD. It's like a sick and twisted dream come true. Now we just need to work on an all out Fact of Life reunion movie and I can crawl back in my hole and die a happy gal. You can bet I will be discussing the show on here. Be forewarned.

I know this a weird and rambling post. Don't judge me. I'm out of practise. I will try my bestest not to go 3 months with no post again. I might even pick up a crochet hook again soon. Also, I want to thank everyone who sent me emails of concern and caring. I really do think bloggers are the best folks on the net.

Now go eat ice cream. It's awesome.


Blogger Vanessa said...

Welcome back Tara! Good to know that you're okay - we missed you!

July 26, 2007 at 9:13 AM  
Blogger Lucy said...

Welcome me....those Happy Pills work wonders!

July 26, 2007 at 9:43 AM  
Blogger Monet said...

Yes, I'm on those little pills to! I LOVE THEM!! WB! :) *BIG HUGZ*

July 26, 2007 at 10:10 AM  
Blogger Red Rocket said...

And just when you thought you had depression all figured too...

As I remember it correctly, my husband went in with relatively the same complaints and got tagged with "malaise". Official diagnosis...I swear it. I didn't know whether to laugh or choke the doctor.

Anyway, glad you're back and keep on eating that ice cream. What doesn't kill ya' can only make you stronger, right?

July 26, 2007 at 10:15 AM  
Blogger Becky in Iowa :O) said...

Glad to see you poker yer nose out of your hidey hole.

July 26, 2007 at 10:48 AM  
Blogger Pikaboo said...

Welcome back!!

July 27, 2007 at 5:42 AM  
Blogger noricum said...

Great hearing from you again! I'm sorry you've been having problems. It's nice that you have a medication that works. (It would be nicer not to have the problem, but having a med that works is the second best option.)

Congrats on the booklet sales!!!

July 27, 2007 at 8:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hooray! you're back! I knew you'd come back. We all missed you soooooooooooooo much. Sorry to hear of your bump in the did the right thing. Acknowledge it and tackle it. There's always light at the end of the tunnel.
You have a lot of friends and people who care....and I'm one of them!

July 28, 2007 at 4:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you're back, I enjoy your blog so much... no pressure. Keep taking the tablets, be happy - or at least function, what more can we ask?

My (very wise, and completely ancient, highly educated) friend once asked at a dinner party "Does anyone ever become depressed[or stressed]" When a few rather uptight snobby types replied that "No" they never felt that way, they remained 'in control' of their emotions he simply said...
Mmmm, I don't beleive any true artist has ever lived without some degree of depression. He's soooo Oscar Wilde!!!

Depression/stress is not fun - but it makes up part of who we are and I think we are probably much more interesting, empathic and wise for it - all that deep thinking and all!!...

Embrace the artist in you - but take the pills because we still have to get the kids to school and make dinner and yadda yadda yarr.

Love and Light to you.

July 28, 2007 at 12:42 PM  
Blogger Sally said...

Tara, we're so happy to have you back. Congrats on your 2800+ copies of your book sold! And eat all the ice cream you want. We'll still be here when you get back...

July 28, 2007 at 5:13 PM  
Blogger desperate housewife said...

'Bout time you came back!

July 28, 2007 at 5:46 PM  
Anonymous Veronica said...

Glad you're back! Glad you're okay! Glad you're enjoying your ice cream! I think I might enjoy a scoop or two in your honor. :)

July 28, 2007 at 7:17 PM  
Blogger Tammy said...

Tara, we're glad to hear from you again. You certainly were missed!!
Ice cream for dinner is my all-time favorite meal, and it HAS to be good for's made with milk!!
I had heard about the Two Coreys and just about fainted. Can it be?? Can't wait to hear your comments about the show.

July 29, 2007 at 4:35 AM  
Blogger X said...

I am so glad to see that you posted again. Yay! And I have been in the exact same place with the depression and the meds and the sleeping. It gets better.

Congrats on the book sales!

July 29, 2007 at 6:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great to see you back, Tara! Sorry to hear life has been stressful.

August 2, 2007 at 9:00 AM  
Blogger Gail said...

I am reading your posts and loving them. Someone with my sick sense of humor, so I've been told.
Please update, I need to laugh some more.
Love your stuff, you should write a book!

October 18, 2008 at 4:58 PM  

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