Friday, April 13, 2007


*please note that I AM aware that today is Friday the Thirteenth. I know that in the past I have made a big deal about it, but those are usually Friday the Thirteenths in which I can spend my day cowering in my house while sticking my tongue out and making random rude noises and occasional yelled curses at Friday the Thirteenth and all the bad luck that comes with it. Since I cannot hide in my house today and must brave the big, scary Friday the Thirteenth world to go to work later, I have decided on a new tactic. I'm just ignoring it. Yup. I'm blatantly choosing to forget what today's date it. Beyond this special note, that is. Or when I get to work later and have to write the date about 800 times in one shift. But, otherwise, I am NOT going to comment on the date. At all. Sorry. OK, on to the non-scary (at least not in a Friday the Thirteenth way) post.


What's up?

Yes, I spent the week in bed. It was actually for health reasons, this time. And I don't mean mental health. It was migraines and a cold. I'm very sorry to say that my week in bed was not enjoyable.

Today I am paying for it by needing to clean my entire house in a few hours. Blech. My littlest kid (aka Little Brat), had her 5th birthday the other day, and tomorrow will be her party. So, the house has to be clean. If you've been keeping up with my sporadic posting, you may have an idea of how much cleaning there is. However, I have already planned my shortcuts. The office and bedroom doors will be closed. If you don't tell the other moms what's behind those doors, neither will I.

I'm really hoping that only a few kids show up for the party. Is that wrong? Whatever. She's five. She'll get over it.

Right now we are absolutely covered in snow. Yes, snow. I know. It's spring. And even though I am in Canada, this is STILL ridonkulous. It's the middle of flipping April, Mother Nature. Give me a ding dong break. Yesterday morning, when the snow started, Little Brat did a 'stop snowing dance' to, well, make the snow stop. I'm not sure what she did, but I think she made it snow harder. We have more snow right now than we did at Christmas. Thanks, Brat. Thanks a lot. Keep your bad mojo to yourself.

Umm......what else....

So, last weekend, I actually spent 2 whole nights in my house....ALONE. Yes, alone. The whole fam damily drove to the mother-in-laws (two hours away) on Good Friday for Easter dinner, but I had to work on Saturday, AND we were expected back on Sunday for dinner at the father-in-laws. So, I drove back on Friday night on my own. To spend Friday and Saturday night on MY OWN. I can't even remember the last time that happened. I think I was still in my teens.

As I was driving home, all by myself, without kids fighting or a husband changing the radio station, or anyone (except me) needing to stop for pee breaks, I decided to stop and get a snack. I went to MacDonald's. Yes, without kids. Why? I'm not sure. I was going to get a Coke, but then a little word popped into my head. Milkshake. MILKSHAKE. Why don't I get a milkshake? When was the last time I got myself a milkshake? I couldn't remember. Why? Why have I stopped buying milkshakes?

And then I remembered. KIDS. Kids, who beg and whine and plead for milkshakes have FORCED me to be an example of a responsible person and not have a milkshake every day. Or, apparently, ever.

But, I was alone. ALONE. I didn't have to be an example to anyone. So, I ordered a milkshake. For just my very self. I am also, it seems, entirely out of practice ordering milkshakes, because I asked for a large.

Did you know that the large MacDonald's milkshake is roughly the size of one of those firefighting buckets then hang under helicopters? I had no idea. Of course, I didn't want to cause a fuss and ask for a different size, so I just told myself "Come on, Tara. Just because you have 83 litres of milkshake, it doesn't mean you have to drink 83 litres."

Yeah, right. Obviously, I don't listen to myself any better than my kids do. And obviously, I should leave milkshake drinking to the more experienced. Perhaps those with larger stomachs.

Thank Folgers my kids didn't see that.

Off to drink coffee and clean. I promise.


Blogger Lucy said...

(hint: do what I do and use reverse psychology...."today is the luckiest day of the year. I love today" I scares evil away) Works for me everytime!

April 13, 2007 at 7:07 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My brother's ex's birthday (are you following all that) was the other day and I tried to convince him to do something that she wouldn't have approved of, ie: buy a ginormous milkshake, but he claims he's not spiteful. Hmm, must be a guy thing. I think he would've enjoyed himself.

Happy Birthday to your girl!

April 13, 2007 at 7:22 AM  
Blogger Tandi said...

Ugh, sorry you were sick all week. And what better event to get better for than a crowd of hyper five year olds! Hope you have a great weeked.

April 13, 2007 at 3:34 PM  
Blogger desperate housewife said...

I'm almost grateful I'm divorced and my three year old spends time with his father, because I'd never get anytime to myself otherwise!

If you want to get motivated to clean, watch an episode of "How Clean Is Your House" on W, with Kim and Aggie. I just did the dishes and threw in a load of laundry half an hour ago after watching them.

April 13, 2007 at 5:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy to see you're back. I raise my coffee cup to you!

April 14, 2007 at 8:42 PM  
Blogger Red Rocket said...

Sounds to me that you may be feeling a little better, minus the tummy ache that is. Never got a chance to commiserate with you on the seasonally affected sleep-in, but I think I was just beginning to kick the sheets back from my own malaise moment.

Now that the sun is out, beware the manic happiness. Glee can be almost as annoying, I swear it. Hope all is better. Truly.

April 17, 2007 at 10:10 PM  

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