The Hair: Head Covering or Comedy Act?

First of all, I would like to thank everyone for loving the Hair. I still love it, too. You know how sometimes, after a haircut, you feel like you can't get used to it? Ya. That didn't happen. At all. It's a very good relationship we have, me and The Hair.

However, I feel as though The Hair has played a bit of a funny on me. Ha ha.

You see, I grew up looking like Sara Gilbert. You know her as 'Darlene' from Rosanne. This wasn't just a slight resemblance. EVERYONE told me that. My family even called me Darlene. Strangers would cross the street to tell me I looked just like her. One time, at Universal Studios (and only days after an as yet un-relaxed perm) I was mobbed by a bunch of tourists that thought I WAS her. I hid under a bench. I'm serious. My dad has the home video somewhere.

It didn't help that we are close to the same age.

I did NOT encourage this. I like Sara Gilbert. She's an OK actress to watch on the odd sitcom. But, she's not exactly stalker material, is she? She's no Jennifer Anniston, after all.

Through the years it died off a little. Mostly after Rosanne went off the air. Then people thought I looked a little more like Drew Berrymore, for some reason. I like that better. She IS an Angel, you know.

I also hear fairly often that I look JUST like some guy's ex-girlfriend. I don't know what the hell that's about. It's only slightly more disturbing, though, than the few times I've been told I sound Irish, considering I've never been there.

But, I digress....

So, I have avoided 'Darlene' haircuts for years. And, perhaps, that is why it has taken me so long to find a nice home for The Hair. But, I let my guard down. I wasn't paying attention. I slacked off in the I-Don't-WANT-to-Be-a-Celebrity-Lookalike department. Even after all those times when my darling husband would see Ms. Gilbert doing her famous bitch routine on some show like ER, and he would say, every time, 'Look, Dear. It's you.' Hardy, har har.

So now there is a new show on TV. It's called the Class. It's hilarious. I love it. And, Sara Gilbert is on it occasionally. She plays Fern, the bitchy and scary scorned wife of another character. She's funny, too. I would have to say, one of my favorite rolls for her.

But, I wasn't paying attention. And The Hair was begging for a new look. And I got Fern's haircut. Dammit.

Which one is me? Oooooooh.

Yesterday, my dad sent me an email addressed to Darlene.

Very funny, Hair. Very funny. You're just lucky I love you so darn much.

Stupid Cat

My cat, Spook, is sick. The little bugger. He has a urinary tract blockage, or some such thing. He can't pee. Or, when he does, it's little tiny drops all over the house. Ew. How much would that suck? Not being able to pee.

The little jackass is costing me over eight hundred dollars. Yes. Eight hundred. I spent at least a half an hour crying about it when I saw the quote. What am I supposed to do? Say no? Of course not. Wanna see the sick little bastard?

Cute, eh? He was cuter eight hundred dollars ago. It was bad enough last year when the dog had a seven hundred dollar surgery and now has to have special food that we have to drive two hours away to buy. Now, the damn cat is costing us MORE. And.....because all of this isn't mind boggling enough.....they say he will be prone to these blockages forever. Even with special food. The cat is only three and a half. Quick, someone do the math. Multiply how many years a cat lives by eight hundred, and add in the extra cost of special food. Oh, and tack on the hair appointments for me, because I will be pulling all of my hair out on a regular basis.

I don't know why I am spending the money on him. I don't even like him. Much. I'm more of a dog person. And he doesn't like me. He meows at me all day, just to annoy me. He jumps on my stomach when I try to sleep. He chases my yarn all over the house. He tried to trip me going down the stairs. That's attempted murder, folks.

OK, fine. So, he's a little cute. And cuddly. And sometimes he's pretty funny. He likes to sneak up on the dog and attack him. He always wins a fight with the dog, even though he's a third his size and has no claws. They're still bestest friends after the fight, though. He catches mice, too. He can't claw them, so he just beats them to death. That's pretty cool. Oh, and he likes to sneak into Little Brat's room right before she goes to bed, just so she'll get upset and yell at someone that the cat is on her bed and won't get off. That's a little humorous.

Whatever. He's getting it fixed. I'll just have to deal with it. But, I swear to y'all, there will be no more pets in this house. I have enough sickies to take care of.

In case any of you cat/animal/Tara lovers out there want to help out, I am adding a special item to my Cafe Press store. It's a cute little pin with a cute little Spook on it. All the proceeds ($1.00 per per pin) will go directly to current and future vet bills for Spook. And, I promise I will like him more in the future. I will even get myself a mug with a cat on it. And call myself 'Cat Crazy' at least once in the next year. And convert at least one dog lover to a cat lover. Through torture, if necessary. I promise. You have my solemn vow. Buy a pin. Buy two.

CLICK HERE TO BUY A PIN. OR TWO OR THREE. WHATEVER.

Rant #1

I just spent a ridiculous amount of time in the Tim Horton's drive thru. I was stuck. Wedged in between other cars. People could walk inside and get their orders and be gone before I moved one car length. Couples could have met, fallen in love and gotten married in the time I was in the line-up. I was there so long, a small child could have grown-up, gone to college, worked at Timmies part-time to pay for school, graduated, met the man of her dreams, gotten married, had a kid of her own who then grows up and works in the same damn drive-thru.

And, was my coffee satisfying? No. Becuase I never got the coffee. Because as soon as I was about 3 cars away from the speaker, the power went out. They shut everything down. "Sorry, cars. Go home now. We know you've been waiting long enough for entire generations to die off and be reborn again, but we have no power. Sorry."

Is this Monday? Did somebody switch the days around again?